..

Bopping away to fizzys r'n'b list 7000 new songs on my ipod woo :) its amazing how music makes you feel. Rips away your inhibitions. Makes you tingle in places you've never felt before. Bob your head, sway your hips, swing your hair. Its a sort of delirium.

Trying to work out life, all up and down nonstop. Love travelling by myself, just love travelling. You realise that life is made up of so many stupid human rules that you dont need. You feel so free, floating around i guess you only know what im talking about once you do it. Life and love isnt one set thing, but a series of beautiful connections, adding personal fuzzy things that make you you. "you are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day" (thanks lexie) i wish i could just go arh stuff it and give up routine life and escape into the sunset like they do in movies. 1400$ phone bills dont help haha oops. And mothers depressing emails dragging you back to earth.

Love the idea of selling my car, staying here and learning dutch, french, spanish. Snowy winter, crisp christmas, ice-skating and weekend trips to london, markets and chic clothes :) history oozing out beneath my feet. Beautiful men :) one who just wont get out of my head even when strolling the streets of sunny barcelona, flying over the mediterranean. Time spent there just went too fast. Why do we make things so bloody complicated? 

Bought a book of poems by leonard cohen - book of longing haha name has nothing to do with it.. He makes me laugh/smile

You have been told to 
"go with the flow" 
but as you know 
from your studies,
there is no flow, 
nor is there actually
any coming or going.
These are merely
helpful concepts 
for the novice monk.
You can start smoking again, 
and what is called "your death"
and what is called "your life"
you can watch now
through the eyes of wisdom.
This is why
the Sages of Japan
named their cigarettes
"Hope" and "Peace"
and "Peace Light" and "Short Hope"
and "Short Hope Light."

There are so many philosophies in life, they fit a little bit but basically its a big jumble of colours and you can do whatever the hell you want. .
Now im going to head off down the coast of spain. Valencia, murcia, grenada and seville. Lisbon, madrid. Lyon, just giving myself one more anguish, paris, and holland. I am going to pay my bills and not think of the future, because before i know it ill be back having freesias and irises swimming before my eyes and letting numbers speeding up and down in unknown places become larger than other humans and experiences.